Alcoholism

The cycle needs to end for the growth of both of you, not even about the children. Help him get that drive from himself because if he doesn't, he won't see the need to change.

They will strip away anything that makes you a better person including your job or church activities. They may even be the ones choosing for you who you visit or where you go and with who. This makes it possible for them to continue mistreating, humiliating and bullying you.