Parenting Tip : 7 Ways to Break up with your Nanny

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Pregnancy & Parenting

7 Ways to Break Up With Your Nanny

It is difficult to find a Nanny that is a good fit for your family.

When you finally find a nanny and the time to let her go comes, it is similarly hard to do so without causing bruised feelings. Here are tested methods to gently let her go:

1. Replace her while she is away – “I waited for her to go on a long break and then hired someone else,” shares Stella Nzisa, a mother of two. Stella opted to do this because she was afraid that the Nanny would react dramatically.

“She was a drama queen. She would overreact when we had minor disagreements. I wanted to break up when she was far away from my children.

2. Help her find her fit – If the only problem you have with your Nanny is that you feel she isn’t a good fit for your family, you can break up with her amicably by helping her find a family that is a better fit for her. This way, when she sees another Nanny with your children, there will be no hard feelings.


3. The slow fade – This one works best for day bugs. Start by reducing the number of hours that she works for you. Naturally, she will begin making connections with other people to continue earning her income. She will be out of your hair before you know it.

4. “I can’t afford to pay you” – Njoki, a first time mother to a three year old recently let go of her Nanny under the pretense that she wasn’t in a position to pay her salary any more.

“I had been with her six months and she was very kind hearted but her work wasn’t very good. When I found someone with a better skill set, I didn’t want her to feel inadequate. I wanted her to think I was the problem, not her.”

5. The clean break

Sometimes the clean break will make it all easier on everyone. Simply sit down and have an honest talk with your Nanny on why you are breaking up with her. Then give her the required notice. To show your appreciation for her service, you can give her a little extra cash as her severance package.

mom with baby 5 things I wish i knew as a first time mum

 6. Get her to train her replacement – The message that having your Nanny train the one who is replacing her sends is that you valued her input. You can have her do this for a week or two and pay her for it. It usually works best if your outgoing Nanny was the one to select and train the incumbent. Do this only if you are sure that the Nanny in question isn’t the malicious type.  

7. Summary dismissal -Sometimes though, there is no time to think about going out of your way to make a breakup less painful. Some instances like a Nanny who is abusive towards your little one or one who has sticky fingers just needs a summary dismissal. Present her with her final payment, collect all the household items she may have and just let her go.

beautiful talking women

Depending on the reason for termination, you may find it beneficial to have an exit interview with the Nanny as she is leaving. If she is a reasonable individual, allow her to give input and talk about her feelings.

Signed Contracts Help Protect Everyone – Print yours here now 

How to know your Nanny might break up with you this month:

29-year-old Rosie shares, “I had been with the family for two years. They were good to me but then I found a better paying job. They were struggling to pay me and they couldn’t afford to give me a raise. Telling them would just have made them feel bad. I told them I was getting married and gave a month’s notice. We parted well.”

When she felt that it was time to move on to the next phase of her life, Wanja, 32 opted for the more honest path.

beautiful woman with long hair


“I told my employer the truth. I wanted to try my hand at another career. I had been training on hair and beauty. We had been together a good three years so of course she begged and offered a raise. I couldn’t stay but I waited while she found a new Nanny and stuck around training her for two weeks.”

Christine, 27, is still embarrassed about how she broke up with her last employer. “I had made up my mind that I wasn’t coming back work after my Christmas break but I didn’t know how to tell my employer. I just went home and text messaged her. I don’t think she was very happy. I wouldn’t do that again.’

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