Why Some People Can't Find Love - MumsVillage

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Why Some People Can’t Find Love

Love is the comfort of knowing someone shares your affection. It can be hard to find love, so treasure it while it lasts.

It’s even more difficult to find a suitable partner if there are children involved. To some being single is a lifestyle choice because not everyone enjoys being in a relationship. For the ones looking for love, here are tips to get you on your way.


happy couple


Before you begin, look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself what it is that you bring to the table. Are you emotionally and physically able to sustain a relationship?


For you to love someone else you must first love that person in the mirror. Do an analysis of past relationships to determine what caused them to end, is there a common denominator? Figuring this out will prevent a recurrence and will allow you to adjust to issues that require addressing in your life.

One thing to remember while looking for love is don’t be desperate. You may overlook warning signs that usually tell tales of future problems in a relationship. It’s important to remember to keep your eyes and your mind open, have an idea of the kind of person you want to date. This could be achieved by making a simple checklist of attributes that you might be looking for. Do not have preconceived ideas about people you just met, chances are they may not live up to them and you may end up with disappointments.


When online dating, be very careful of who you meet online. It has become more popular and acceptable in recent times. There are sites for whatever kind of relationship you might be looking for. It’s very hard to determine the genuineness of a person who is sheltered by the veil that is the internet. Take the time to learn these people and do not meet them in secluded locations or home visits. Always let someone know your whereabouts and have an exit strategy at hand if things don’t go according to plan. Do not reveal personal information to people online.


Read more: 6 Things that Determine your Relationship Future


The idea of love has been convoluted by cultural influence. In Kenya, it’s mostly influenced by the west but some still hold on to traditional practices sometimes finding a balance between the two is difficult. Therefore, it’s important to discuss these issues when you are considering getting into a relationship with someone.  If you are dating and have a child, it is important to reveal this at the beginning. Their reaction and position with this issue will let you decide whether it is worth perusing or not.


couple on a date


Keep it simple, fun and light. Be yourself, it’s the best way to know if somebody loves you for who you are. Do not actively look for love, it finds you somehow. That’s why it’s called falling in love. What is meant to be will always find a way. Remember there’s nothing wrong with being single and it’s not an indication of your inability to sustain a relationship. Men are usually afraid of commitments, do not force things. Science says it takes about 90 days for someone to realize whether they want to be with you or not. Use this time to get to know each other instead.  You can never force someone to love you if they don’t already share the same sentiments, that’s the hard truth but it’s not your fault either. So don’t beat yourself up about it.

Trust in the person that you are, have confidence and a positive attitude. If you have to work extra hard to convince someone of your value maybe they are not the best fit. Let it go and move on.

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