Valentine congratulations, I heard that you recently became a mum. I had a little girl 4 weeks ago and I am wondering when my husband and I can get back to having sex. Is it too soon? Also what form of contraception do you recommend? I fear that the pill will affect my baby.
Congratulations Mama Joy. Isn’t it amazing and exhausting, this mummy thing? My son is 17 months now but I still remember those first 4 weeks. It was a very ‘fluid’ time – sweating, bleeding, breastfeeding and peeing all that excess fluid out of my body. I am surprised that you even want to have sex; good for you.
Doctors say that you should give your body 6 weeks for everything to get back to normal. Your pelvis and spine are readjusting themselves. Your hormones also need time to balance out and the muscles of your pelvic floor need some rest as they rearrange themselves from carrying baby and pushing her out.
I’d give it another two weeks before actual intercourse, but that does not mean that you cannot do other things. Massage, kissing, cuddling, oral sex (for your man) are all options.
One lady told me that her nipples became so sensitive from breast feeding that she could have orgasms from nipple play alone.
Now when it comes to contraception, I urge caution when it comes to any hormonal methods. This is because they affect the quality of your milk and may cause you baby to be fussy. Also oestrogen containing pills have been shown to decrease milk supply, sometimes very dramatically.
The World Health Organisation advocates for exclusive breastfeeding until you wean little Joy at 6 months, and then that you continue breastfeeding until she is two. Many mothers find this grueling and many say that they first 6 months are the most crucial. You will find what works for you, Joy and your family as a whole. I did the 6 months exclusive and then continued until my son quit at one. I was happy that he quit but I really missed him and had a bit of a mourning period.
For now I would suggest that you have a lengthy conversation with your doctor about sex and contraception and ask her about progesterone pills specifically. They seem to affect milk (quantity and quality) less than oestrogen containing pills.
If you find that they work well for you then you could try an IUD.
I am a big fan of the IUD (intra-uterine device) because it is 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. Your doctor will insert one into your body and it will release a small dose of the hormone progesterone locally into your uterus reducing possible side effects. You can have it in there for up to 7 years.
Your body has just done something amazing by bringing a human into the world. Not only is your identity shifting to ‘mummy’ and whatever you will make that mean to you, your body will surprise you with new reactions and points of pleasure.