So this week I answered an email from a woman who is concerned for her male friend who is 40 and a virgin. He is not religious so it’s not by choice.
Irene (his friend) had told him to go to the gym and eat some protein to buff up because women love a manly-man who can protect them.
As you can see in the video, I disagreed.
Do you remember being a teenager? Experimenting with clothes, your hair and even your walk as you tried to figure out a balance between what made you attractive to the opposite sex and how you wanted to express yourself? Do you remember flirting? Learning how to play hard to get? How about your first kiss? Were you good at it or did it take a few tries before you found your kissing groove?
Now lets move to early adulthood… that murky time when you are having sex and trying to manage the emotional fallout of this powerful and pleasurable activity.
Maybe you slept with the wrong person or gave your heart to a player. Probably you broke a few hearts yourself or caught feelings after promising that you could be ‘friends with benefits’… it is all part of the learning curve.
Now I do not know where this guy was but it seems that he missed this step. He didn’t pursue his crush too enthusiastically and get rejected. He did not grab a nipple too hard and get thrown out of the bedroom. He did not learn to control his climax to ensure that his partners had orgasms before he did. He did not learn that great sex will have you feeling protective, possessive, taller, more handsome, smarter, horny and in love all at once.
The good news is that nature is on his side. For the sake of the species, learning how to have sex is not rocket science so we all learn.
Ladies what pointers would you give this guy as he starts on his sexual journey? I suggested that he try younger, less experienced and therefore more patient women.
Do you agree? Should he tell potential partners that he is a virgin? Would it matter to you? Please share in the comments?
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Having written about and studied sex and sexuality for the last 10 years, Valentine is convinced that a yummy sex life is within reach and it all starts with you the individual and how you prioritize pleasure. She is here to answer your questions as you create the sex life you dream of so firstname.lastname@example.org . Also check out her online platform, dada.co.ke