The Types Of People You’ll meet This Christmas in Kenya

Happy holidays everyone. ‘Tis the season for meeting families, meeting friends, making new friends and buying gifts. You are bound to meet various types of people, some you love, others not so much, fun people, cringe-worthy people and yeah – those relatives.

Here are the types of people you will might meet this Christmas:

Cousin you never want to meet until Next Christmas

She’s the cousin who tells on everyone’s secrets and stirs strife with her tattle tales that are more often than not an exaggeration of what happened and what never happened. Need unsolicited advice? This is the type of person to sit next to at the dinner table.

Home Pastor

Don’t we all love our pastors? If you are going for the Christmas Carol this Sunday or you celebrate Christmas in Church first followed by a home cooked meal, you’re bound to meet your pastor. He’ll meet you with oohs and aahs with appreciation of your successes and look how grown up your children are getting? He’s amazing.

However, if you have a long distance relationship with Church, not the amazing type of person to meet. He might start drumming you to get saved (hello protestants) or dredge on your non-existent presence in Church.

Nosy Relatives

If you’re yet to introduce someone or you have a long engagement with your significant others, be prepared for the hot seat. Marriage and relationship innuendos directed at you will be passing around like salt, directed at you. Moreover, that annoying auntie will be there with her checklist; husband/wife and grand kids. Be prepared with comebacks or do and say nothing at all.

High school Ex

These are the cringy ‘I might know you- but won’t say hi’ meet ups that we all hate. If  you are on okay terms, more power to you, if you are not change route, incoming Ex.

Too Cool for Shags

Meal preparation in the village can take hours due to the number of people and the method of cooking  and may require a lot of hands on deck. We all know these types of people; they won’t join in preparing the food or cooking on the open fire during Christmas as wood and charcoal are beneath them.

The kids who always through the Car Window

When you arrive in shags, more often than not there is always a bunch of children who will run to the car and stare until you get out. It can be somewhat creepy but if you are asleep you will never notice them.

More Food Mum

The type of mum who always adds more food on everyone’s plate. We are full please!

The Troublesome Cousin

This one knows the latest joints to hang out and the best time to  sneak out from home. They’re always on point with latest trends and seems to get away with anything and a smooth talker. You’re sure they’ll talk himself and anyone else out of any kind of trouble.

The Cool Rich Uncle

He’s the plug. Want a new phone? A new pair of shoes?  Try out the latest eating joint? He’s your go to uncle. You can always count on his choice of gifts, and on his excellent taste. Other times he will ask you for your CV to help get you a job.

The Cousin with the ‘Accent’

The one just came back from 3 months in the UK and all of you should be aware. Even they’re local dialect is spoken with the Queen’s accent. Don’t even start with all the stories of their escapades.

Mr Always asking for Handouts

Friends and family that are always asking for hand outs, you’ll meet them and woe if you had been ignoring their calls. This habit should die in 2018, the way to keeping friends is being there and asking them about their well-being too. It’s not every day that everyone should meet your needs.

The Phone Addicts

You’ll find them; phone surgically attached to their palms. They’re social media fanatics, high on browsing, taking selfies and snapping away at the holiday meals. They can’t hold a conversation for long because, phone notifications are a distraction. They always have an excuse as to why they are using their phone.

How to notice them: Right across the dinner table, legs crossed with the phone/iPad in hand.

You are bound to meet at least one of these people during the festive season. Remember to understand them, and it will only last a short while.

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