“Just Friends” – The Disjointed Intersection

*This content contains sexual references*

“I love how I feel when I am inside of you, I do not want to stop,” he murmurs softly over and over again.

His heavy body lying on hers, his torso aligned with hers, he pulls her closer and pushes in deeper. His hands move from her naked behind to her hair, and she feels him consume her. “Ouch!” she groans as she grabs on to him tighter. It is a strange feeling of exhilarating pleasure and pain as she surrenders to the sensation, her muscles clenching deep inside her.

She closes her eyes, feeling every touch of his with the surge of emotion that she had always imagined. After nearly four years of crushing on him, her body is finally wrapped around his.  It feels almost like their souls and energies are connecting, a complete union of sorts, it feels perfect. But is it?

He stops and says something, but she cannot hear him, she does not want to hear him-she does not want it to stop. But it does.

“This means nothing right? We are just two friends having a good time?” he firmly asks, staring deep into her eyes. Her heart suddenly stops. No wait, her world stops. And stands still. There’s a silence. She feels her body go tight, every part of it. All of a sudden she feels pain, not pleasurable pain this time. She stares back into his eyes, nods once, unsure of what it means at that moment, and the in and out movements continue. She cannot breathe, and she feels all her emotions piling up. She feels angry, anxious, hurt, and confused. But she savours the moment, every bit of it.

There are a tremble and a powerful burst. He bursts inside of her, and she bursts inside of herself. The weight of his body is still pressing onto hers; she feels out of place in her own body. Tears run down her cheeks, and as she feels the wetness of them on her lips. “Just two friends having a good time,” she repeats to herself, “Just two friends having a good time.”

Even though a big part of her wants all of this to happen again, a part of her that wants this to work (because it is only natural, isn’t it?) she realizes it can’t. Her stay is transient. What they shared at that moment was convenience- something that many refer to as a “friends-with-benefits situation”. But not her. She doesn’t do friends with benefits. Next thing she knows, she’s buttoning up her shirt, gathering up all the courage, and reminding herself that if she agreed she had more than a friend to lose, she had herself to lose.

“No, we’re just friends” she murmurs as she walks out, “Just friends!”.

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