DEAR FUTURE WIFE

Love is a beautiful thing.

I love the times we have and the beautiful things you do to me. I love it when you sometimes call me in the day just to say that you miss me and love me, with your lovely voice. Despite all this fairy glare and amazing times we have, sweetheart, there are things that I just don’t like… I am saying this in the most polite way possible.

• Please do not call me when I am rushing and pacing to work on those late days. I may not be in my right frame of mind to be all lovey dovey and sweet like you want in the morning. I’m sure that would be a recipe for disaster.
• Do not call me at work. My office space is small and our conversation becomes everyone’s business. Please don’t hold that against me.
• Future wife, please avoid calling my friends when you are looking for me, it makes us seem disconnected. It gives the boys humour and makes me a laughing stalk.
• Dear future wife don’t ask me to cook when my family and friends are around us. It is definitely not a good picture for my mother to see, it makes it look like you are the man of the house and “umenikalia chapatti” as my boys call it.
• Dear future wife please don’t consult or confront my ex-girlfriends. There is a reason why they are called ex’s.

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With that out of the way, I’m sure we will have a happy marriage and definitely an amazing relationship.