I was born on January 3rd, 19…… Very few people know how old I really am. It’s a secret I guard with my life.
I’m actually over 35 and rounded off to the nearest number, my age is closer to 40 than 35. I also do not have any children. So I’m closer to 40 in age, not married, no kids and no boyfriend to speak of.
This state of being has arisen because I travel a lot to find work in different countries. I therefore have not had the opportunity to live in Kenya for a long time to start a family.
In most countries, getting married is not this huge accomplishment that over rides getting a PhD or starting a very successful business or getting a promotion at work.
Getting married and having kids in Kenya is the ultimate prize in life.
It’s like you get sick and need admission to one of the fancy hospitals in Kenya that need an astronomical deposit for their doctors to even glance at you. So you go in and say, “I’m married.” And they let you in, in lieu of the deposit. That’s how people act in Kenya…like marriage will be your Aga Khan ICU deposit admission.
Read more: Bikozulu: The Art of Seduction
I see it everywhere. People go to palm readers to see if marriage to person A is in their future, people visit a witch-doctor so he can cast a spell on some poor fellow. Men know how valued they are so they do whatever they want to women.
Beat them, live with them before they give you a chance to be on the Wedding Show, take you to their local to watch football with the boys as a date night for the both of you. Women do not care if they are the ninth side chick as long as you can share a part of a man. And if he’s rich and can buy you a car and keep you in a furnished Kilimani apartment, the stakes to get this kind of man get higher. So if it means you will hire a hit man to take out the first 8 girls, put some love potion in his food and cook 100 chapatis for him, so be it.
The worst part is when your husband knows he can beat you to a pulp because even if you run away to your family, they will most likely return you to him.
Everyone in the rest of the world is usually nonchalant about my marital status. That changes the day I fly into JKIA.
My experience in Kenya is that if someone threatens you in any way, the knee jerk reaction is to put them down in order to make yourself feel better. And the first open area of attack is my single childless status at my age.