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Adua Chronicles : Help me Understand the Male Species!

I am not a man hater. I love men. Do not get it twisted. I have a son, brothers, friends, more than friends etc. There are sometimes though that these Nairobi male species confuse me. I really want to understand them but the things some of them do.  It would be funny if it was not tragic. Or is it the other way around? Anyway, you decide. 

 

1.They say they do not want ‘gold diggers’. That a woman should have her own money and independence but they are the same jokers who turn around and rebuke women for not ‘needing’ men. Ati women with their own money do not respect men.

 

2. Apparently, women who give in and have sex on the first date are not ‘wife material’ but he will be the same horny goat begging for sex on the first date and swearing on his mother’s petticoat that he will not think less of you if you gave him after only knowing him for all of five hours.

 

3. He will be thumping his chest proclaiming he is a polygamous man and that even his wife knows he cannot manage with one wife. Then turn around and take you on a date somewhere on the outskirts of Nairobi where said wife or wife’s friends are not likely to be. Why are we hiding king of the jungle? Aren’t you the cock in your house?

 

4. ”Why do women wear weaves, make up? They should appreciate their natural bodies. I like a natural woman!” He will then add how Beyonce is hot. Hello! She wears weaves and make up! 

 

5. A man will be there giving you an earful at the bar about how he likes having intelligent conversations. You exchange numbers and the first WhatsApp message is a d*** pic! (Dear men, imagine it is not a turn on to see a penis.)

 

6. You meet a man and he starts going on about the type of women he dates. Hair like this, body like that, does not drink or smoke, no kids or x number of kids. So, if you don’t have said body- go to gym and get, go to salon to achieve hair like this, stop drinking, do not start smoking and swallow any kids. Meanwhile he looks like a hairy potato called Father Abraham, with a chimney and brewery attached to his side.

 

7. Apparently, we (women) are drinking like our fathers. This in my opinion shows evolution. But the men do not seem to have evolved. They are not good cooks and long suffering like their mothers were. Seriously though, why do men want us, no, expect us to put up with mistreatment because their mothers did? If you do not learn from history… 

 

8. Same Nairobi man will meet you. Take you home to his mother. Tell all his friends that you are the woman he is marrying. Introduce you to his boss, mechanic and barber. Then go ghost on you! For almost six months you will not hear from him. You will send texts that will be delivered and not answered. You will call, he will not pick. You will eventually give up and move on. Out of the blue he will call, with the same number and say he has missed you so much, when is he seeing you? You will reply that you moved on. He will then say you are not loyal. Yawa Baba? Do women have on and off switch?  Can bodily needs be fullfilled with ugali? 

 

Guest Post by Adua Chronicles.

Head out to this hidden gem called, Adua for more posts about Parenting and Relationships. 

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