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An Open Letter to the Women Struggling with Infertility

Gynaecologist, couple, infertility

Couple sitting on bed experiencing infertility challenges

In the movies, they often depict pregnancy as something spontaneous. What the movies don’t show very often are the women who experience heartbreak from infertility or when things don’t go as planned. Millions of women from 15 to 40 have trouble getting pregnant. Once women become pregnant, another uphill battle is remaining pregnant.

While an unfortunate situation, infertility is not a matter to be swept under the rug. Everyone struggling to get pregnant should feel supported and educated when approaching the matter. Women might be surprised to discover those around them going through similar issues. While your relationship with your health practitioner is valuable, your real-life statistics can be determined by approaching those around you. Your neighbour or co-worker may have gone through your exact situation and provide insight that your doctor doesn’t disclose.


Infertility can take a toll on your relationship. For the many women that cannot become pregnant to begin with, just as many experience the heartbreak of miscarriages. It is important to keep in mind the partner not attempting to become pregnant as they can grow to feel that they are out of control. Make sure your discussions are inclusive.


The dialogue surrounding your efforts is important. While those around you not in the “pregnancy bubble” may mean best, they may not always be the most sensitive. There are many things you are going through that those around you cannot imagine. For instance, many women deal with the polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), a common but damaging diagnosis. It is important to surround yourself with those who can speak from experience and provide useful suggestions for you.


It may feel as though your body has betrayed you. You will learn to love her again.  You will be in awe of the strength your body puts forth with each injection and charted cycle. Your body can excel at this.

You may not win every battle, but the mindset is essential to delivering you to that day you find success. Though everyone wants you to be superwoman, you are only human. You cannot influence your own fate. Even in your darkest hours when you feel out of control, you are never less than. Struggling with infertility does not make you any less of a woman, just as having a child does not make a woman. You already are, and will always be a strong force of a woman.


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